Today, I'm starting this liquid diet, suppose to help remove all the toxins from the body and fat hopefully.  This diet allows fruits and vegetables ONLY, with no solid food intake.  Normally, it is suggested for a 3-day fast on this diet, but lets see how many days I can stay on it.  Will update again..  Cheers!!

This pic is truly an inspiration!!

I'm so happy I get to go to the gym!!  Did 30 mins on the eliptical machine and 30 mins on the treadmill.  Burned a total of 450 cals!!  Yay..   I know it's not much, but I'm still glad that I burned some cals. 

Girls..  I'm back!!  The power of ana never leaves me eventhough I was kinda banned from accessing xanga.  But..  hehehe..  now I'm back..  will write more whenever I got a chance to sneak back in here..  Love you ALL..  especially my dearest pal Fattigyrl..  

By the way, my weight shot back up at 95 lbs..   Arrggghhhh!!!!! 

Thank you girls for your immense supports and loves...  but I'm so sorry, truthfully those comments did help me and made me feel better, but it didn't last long, soon my mood changed back to where it was, crappy and depressed!  I felt like as if my world is slowly crumbling down on me...  I don't know what to do with myself anymore, i'm so hopeless and worthless... 

From one of your comment, I did took your advise and went to the bathroom, stood naked in front of the mirror and took a serious look at myself and my body.  Sadly, i am not liking what i see, believe it or not, even at 90 lbs, I still CANNOT see my ribs bones!  So that means, there are still FAT wrapping around them, burying my rib bones.  I have to suck my tummy all the way in, only then those beautiful ribs start to show.  But i don't want to suck anything in, i want them to naturally show...   I MUST stop those damn junk food cravings!!  I need to get myself back on track with ana!!  Help ana, please give me strength once again.....  I really wish i can get back on with ana...  stronger than ever!

~~  EDIT  ~~

The last thing i need is to read comment for such morons...  but somehow after reading, it sort of have an counter effect!  It makes me feel like they are people, no...  idiots out there who are more worthless than me!  It felt good to know such fact...   Anyway, usually i will just delete it off, but this one, i will let it hang for a day...  'cos insults can sometimes give a powerful boost of encouragement.

Fyi, i went to purge out my dinner, i had McDonald's fish fillet and the dbl cheeseburger.  There didn't taste good at all, i eat b'cos i was depressed?  down?  or simply still upset at myself.  But, i'm so glad i purged them all out without much fuss.

I'm truly sorry to have you all so worried about me.  Ooooo...    I feel so awful, I'm so sorry about it, but I am OK though....   I had been busy at work, doing overtime and at the same time i was also very upset at myself.  I had fallen so way out of track lately!  For the past couple weeks, I binged all the time, but only purged a couple times!  I feel like such a failure 'cos i hadn't been able to go below 88 lbs no matter how i tried.  I hated myself for not able to control my cravings, feels to me, the more i control, the more i crave...  and ultimately, i always ended up in bingeing!!  I used to weigh myself like 10 times a day, but for the past couple weeks, I didn't even bother to check my weight anymore, 'cos it's always a disappointment!  This morning I went to weigh myself, just so i could post it up here...  it says 91.4 lbs!  I'm back up in the 90's...  and i guess soon i'll be up in the 100's.  I suck!!!    I was so ashamed to even post on xanga!  I don't want my weakness to spread to you girls, 'cos i know you all have been so strong and are doing so well, unlike me, I am just a weak nobody. 

I don't know what to do with myself anymore!  I think I might have involuntarily gave up on myself.  I know that deep down in me, I don't want to give it up, 'cos I don't want to be FAT!  I don't want to feel fat, BUT nothing is working for me!  I wish there is a way that would kill my cravings once and for all!!  ...........not gonna happen i know.